17 October 2003
Tyrannosaurus Update!
The Tyrannosaurus alert level is now ORANGE:
Unmated and obviously angry female tyrannosaurs have been sighted running amok during late afternoons in the Duboce Triangle. The SFCTC (San Francisco Center for Tyranosaurus [sic] Control) warns handsome gay males and even handsomer lesbians wearing phermone [sic] colognes to stay clear of Noe and Castro Streets to avoid the wrathful attentions of frustrated females in heat. Unless you are into that kind of thing.Warning: Status will switch to red alert in the Duboce Triangle sometime in late October when egg clutches hatch, and parents are feeding hungry nestlings.