March 29, 2004
Taking The Scenic Route
Living in San Francisco makes one want to be outside. Especially when spring arrives! The air is so fresh and the scenery so engaging. Now that the weather is agreeable, I'm resuming taking various scenic routes to the office.
My favorite route is Page > Franklin > Grove > Polk > North Point > Embarcadero. Polk is a major north-south bicycle corridor due to its gentle slope and partial bike lanes. The climb lasts for about 20 blocks, and then suddenly the sparkling Bay springs into view and you plunge sharply toward the Maritime Museum. Wheee!
After that, it's a nearly flat ride past Fisherman's Wharf and the Ferry Building to our office in Hills Plaza. Today the Boat Tram was trundling down the tracks with a load of tourists in search of clam chowder in bread-bowls. My legs had become bionic after their workout, and I could barely feel them as they worked the crank, easily keeping pace with motor traffic. By the time I darted down into the cool, cavernous parking garage, I felt stronger and prouder than I had when I left the house.
Every day should begin like that, eh? There's nothing like springtime to inspire a girl to get out and work it. It helps that I know I'm going on a spectacular vacation in just a few weeks.
That's right! I'm going to Hawaii in late April, and boy am I psyched. Mainly, I'm going there to visit the beautiful and talented Sonic, who lives on Kauai, where we will enjoy some hiking. Then we'll hop over to the Big Island for a wedding and a little volcano-viewing. I can hardly stop wiggling about it!
March 28, 2004
Liquor and Poker (I Hardly Even Know Her!)
Life has settled down somewhat, and most of the mess that I hauled to our apartment from the Hideyhole is now put away. At last I can fully participate in City life! Among other things, that means hosting happy little gatherings of good friends.
Scotch is my favorite liquor, one of the few that I enjoy drinking straight up. I also happen to have some great pals who appreciate and have excellent taste in scotch. Of course, you can't just sit around drinking fine liquor, apropos of nothing! Some sort of pretense must be devised. In this case, I proposed a manly game of poker to compliment our masculine drink.
Unfortunately, while I understand the basics of poker, I do not know enough to effectively lead a poker game. Lamont and John saved the day by bringing a fancy set of cards and chips, then teaching everyone to play Texas Hold 'Em. At five dollars a head with eight players, the pot was neither too shabby nor likely to draw bad blood among the losers.
We tasted some very nice scotch:
I expected to like this one more than I did. Out and about, I often order Glenfiddich and soda and enjoy it. Perhaps it just needs soda, but none of us used soda tonight.
This one is pleasantly light and smooth.
This one was the favorite; we nearly finished the bottle! It also happens to be the most inexpensive of the lot. It's a blend that includes Glenkinchie.
I was the only one who tried this, as it came in a tiny little bottle. I don't recall it specifically, as I was paying more attention to the cards in my hand.
Bruce brought his niece's Flat Stanley to the game. Apparently, Flat Stanley is a craze among elementary school students. Bruce had spent the day taking Flat Stanley to all the San Francisco sights to be photographed. He was mostly regarded as a crazy person by passersby, but several people stopped him to say that they recognized Flat Stanley. Wacky! Now I sort of want a Flat Stanley.
We also enjoyed luscious cheeses, smoked pork, chips with delicious dip homemade by Paul, and hot apple pie. Many drinks later, the pot and a lovely Glenmorangie scotch-tasting glass were finally won by Renee, who played fiercely!
March 22, 2004
Beached Bus on Page Street
Why do migrating birds sometimes stray off course to their deaths? Why do penguins sometimes kill their offspring? Why do whales sometimes beach themselves? Why does an electric bus sometimes leave its wires?
This is a rogue 22 Fillmore whose instincts have malfunctioned. It has wandered too far from its electrical wires and now has too little power to return to its route unassisted. All it can do is feebly flutter its hazard lights and wait for help.
The stranded individual's companions sometimes abandon their agendas and 
come to the rescue. Two white pickup trucks arrived. One made a brief attempt to give the 22 a push back to Fillmore. It was quickly displaced by its larger companion, carrying a generator. An orange-vested man plugged the generator into the bus. The bus was quickly recharged and returned to Fillmore under its own power.
Let this be a lesson to other foolish electric busses who think they can leave their wires! There is no escape from the electric tether!
March 10, 2004
Knocking Chicks Up Since 2004
One of my oldest and dearest friends is having a baby with his girlfriend, and they're thrilled. I've known Colby for ten years now, so it's both weird and exciting that he'll soon be a father.
This also opens the door for some good-natured ribbing. Colby is notorious for being well-endowed, Down There. I'll confess to being instrumental in spreading that rumor ever since one of his previous girlfriends confided in me. Now Colby's penis is known not only for its size, but also for its ability to knock chicks up. Thus, it's ripe for the application of amusing new pseudonyms:
Have you got others to contribute to the list?
March 8, 2004
The Best Movie Ever
Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter. That's right. This movie has it all:
It's brilliantly absurd! You must see it. Greencine has it, Netflix has it, and I bet Le Video has it, too. But since I can assure you that this will be your new favorite movie of all time, you might as well go ahead and buy it. It's even better than Cannibal: The Musical!
March 6, 2004
S.O.D.S. "Skirts Night"
Some of my friends belong to a boys-only club called the Suspension of Disbelief Society (SODS). On Friday nights, they get deliberately drunk and then go to a silly movie, usually the kind with explosions and bad jokes. Last night was "skirts night", a rare opportunity for female pals to join the fun.
The evening begins at Fourth Street Bar and Grill, with many rounds of drinks and a hearty dinner. The minimum blood alcohol level required to attend the movie is .15, and for this purpose one of the members brings a portable breathalyzer, which is passed around the table.
The movie was the sold-out opening night of Starsky and Hutch, appropriately action-packed and silly. Each member has his own monogrammed flask, and these were passed around during the movie for extra drunkenness. Some of our fellow Metreon patrons were envious of our flagrant flouting of theater rules.
As if all that drinking weren't sufficient, the group reconvened at Zeitgeist after the show. But no sooner had I taken a sip of my scotch-and-soda than I realized I was finished. Most of the club was still drinking zestfully when I stumbled outside and flagged down a cab. Those beer-obsessed boys!
My own drunkenness was duly punished this morning, though the punishment was easily reversed with plenty of water and a high-protein breakfast.
