9 July 2004
Cat Trust
My cat has a semi-feral friend, Buster, who is usually fed by our downstairs neighbor, Bruce. Buster has learned that I'll sometimes provide a back-up source of food. In the almost-year that I've lived in this building, I've been very careful never to make a move toward Buster. He must have been an abused or neglected kitten; he rarely lets anyone touch him and has never been captured. He flees even when nobody's chasing him.
Bruce must have been sleeping late this morning, because Buster was mewing at my back door when I got up to feed Sasha. Usually, I simply deposit a small pile of cat food on the threshold and step back. This time, I gently beckoned Buster to enter, something he's done clandestinely many times but never at my invitation. I've caught glimpses of him fleeing the sunroom, leaving a warm indentation on the daybed. Or fleeing my room, leaving Sasha's catnip-infused scratcher mauled in the middle of the floor. Standing in the kitchen, I'd sometimes see him approaching Sasha's bowl in the next room, hoping for leftovers. "Hi, Buster," I'd say, then studiously ignore him to give an appearance of disinterest.
This morning he accepted my invitation to enter, and as he passed, I casually brushed my hand across his side—the first time I've ever managed to touch him. He stopped, looked uncertainly at me, then turned around and exited. I repeated my invitation, he promptly re-accepted, and again I lightly touched his side as he walked past me. Again he stopped and gave me a look, but then proceeded to where Sasha was enjoying his breakfast.
The two sniffed each other's heads all over and briefly shared the bowl before Sasha gave Buster a gentle swat and a "Meh!" Buster retreated to the threshold, and I gave him a small snack to tide him over until Bruce got up.
This makes me proud. One of my favorite things about cats is the challenge of earning and maintaining their trust and respect, things they don't give as readily as dogs do. Each cat makes and enforces its own boundaries, and friendship with the cat requires respecting its boundaries; they cannot be forced. Often, one must wait with tremendous patience for the cat to initiate friendship. The best I could do with Buster was to make no assertive move. I provided a few tokens of good faith in the form of little snacks and a standing invitation to make himself at home. After all, he's my cat's friend. Maybe now he'll be my friend too! Good kitty.